Take it as it comes
It’s the new year, and everyone is catching up on blogging, so I’ll just slip in the side-door to this party as well.
Last year, I met my goal of running 500 miles, even with 40 to go on Dec 22. Thanksgiving kind of kicked my butt, and I wasn’t sure I was going to make it, but I’m glad I did. That was really the only goal/resolution I had for the year, and I think it served me well. Something about committing to a (relative) lot of running equals a commitment to a lot of other things like sleeping enough and taking decent care of yourself.
Lately, all my energies are focused on trying to buy a house. As I type this, we’re waiting word on yet another offer (our fourth in as many weeks). Training for the upcoming Austin half-marathon I so eagerly registered for, now seems like a minor annoyance.
But life is like that. Ebbing and flowing and changing in the smallest and biggest ways. So I’ll just keep taking it as it comes and trying to stay sane. That’s a pretty good resolution, right?
Elusive balance
I’m dreaming of balance. Actually that’s not true, I’ve dreamt about work every night this week, but I’m thinking a lot about balance. How much I need it. What it might look like. Where to find it.
But I think that next to last sentence there is key. I’m so far away from being balanced in my life (right now, possibly always) that I’m having trouble even envisioning what things would look like if they were ideal.
So I’m re-re-re-reading Take Time for your Life and, as usual, becoming riduclously sidetracked with some pointless technicality (trying to get an image link to work), which defeats everything I’m reading about and thinking about and trying to make better.
Even though this book is about 10 years old, and sort of pre-dates the whole crazy from iphone/twitter/distraction thing that is a thing, I think it’s still so relevant to everything. At least to me.
Between this book (and maybe the 4 other books in a similar vein that are on my nightstand) and listening to the best of the Back to Work podcasts, I’m kinda getting it through my brain that there is no lifehack to save you. There is scarcity of time, and the only thing you really get to choose is what is important to you in any given minute.
Gratitude
It’s been a strange day. But I’m grateful for coworkers who get me, a husband that totally supports me, a nice apartment, legs and a body that let me run, and a brain that lets me workaround annoying code. And vodka, I’m totally grateful for vodka.
sunday night (shorter than intended)
i’m glad to notice that personal blogging is undead, or reviving, or somethinging – even if just among my small circle of friends. there is no going back to the blog days we all remember (probably too) fondly. but there is always space to keep moving forward.
last night, my husband and i got drunk nicely tipsy and played songs to either other back and forth and it was so nice and lovely and one of those memories i’ll carry close for always. god is music. life is good.
“I went back into my bedroom and knelt at my bed the way I did when I was a kid. I folded my hands and pressed the top knuckle joints of my thumbs hard into my forehead. Dear God. I don’t know what I want or who I am. Apparently you do. Um…that’s great. Never mind. You have a terrible reputation here. You should know that. Oh, but I guess you do know that. Save me now. Or when it’s convenient. We could run away together. This is stupid. What am I doing? I guess this is a prayer. I feel like an idiot, but I guess you knew that already, too. My sister said that god is music. Goodbye, Amen. I lay in my bed and waited for that thick, sweet feeling to wash over me, for that unreal semi-conscious state where the story begins and takes on a life of its own and all you have to do is close your eyes and give in and let go and go and go and go.”
— Miriam Toews, A Complicated Kindness
(you should read this book. maybe you’ll find it overwrought or pointless, but it has some really beautiful sentences.)
Birthday-versary
Yesterday was my birthday and our anniversary. I enjoy celebrating both of those events together, and to be honest, who do you know that could have resisted the ‘I want an entire day to celebrate you in my life’ line that my husband gave me 8 years ago?!
We celebrated by staying up late and sleeping in and doing our usual hanging out. I went for an 8 mile run – a mile for every year over 30, and a trail to grow on ;) We bypassed the fancy dinner at the last minute in favor of a tiny sushi and Korean dive, and I couldn’t be happier that we chose the thing that was more ‘us’
Posting about it all seems a little anemic, but I want to try to better record the passing of the time. It’s so fleeting and perfect.
Still alive
I blog in my head fairly often, but it never seems to make it to the page. Twitter is the bane of blogging. At least for me. But I don’t post the same sort of things, so I need to make it more of a priority.
I’ve been working on a big project at work, which has been a little frustrating and stressful at times, but it’s rewarding and interesting and keeps me unbored.
My parents were here for a week and that was nice. I had to work more than I’d wanted, but we got some quality time together. I’m very lucky to be able to work from home when I need to.
Besides the usual Ikea, Whole Foods, and Chuy’s that we must hit up, Dad and I went around the lake with him on his bike while I ran – it was pretty awesome just sharing that with him. And we took mom up to see the pedestrian bridge and part of the trail as well. Mom and I had girl lunch time too <3 Since they left yesterday early, the mister and I cleaned up and then just enjoyed hanging out together - watching True Blood and laughing at the awfulness. Today we went to see the Avengers. We rarely make it to the movies, so it was a nice treat. Tomorrow's back to more normal schedule. I'm not ready, but it seems like I never really am and it all works out :)
hello again
I should get ebb&flow tattooed on myself, but it would redundant to anyone who knows me ;)
It’s been a while because sometimes I don’t know what to say, or I feel like what I have to say is banal that no one will care. But I miss writing some days, and I like my archives and think I should keep adding to them.
This weekend was as low-key as I wanted it to be. After spending parts of the last 2 weekend flying, and with some big changes on the horizon at work tomorrow, I was anxious to do a lot of nothing, and I excelled at it.
On Saturday morning I went for a long run – 10ish miles, which is the longest I’ve done since the half-marathon. I wasn’t sure I had it in me, but I managed to help myself by zigging when I should have zagged and ended up not where I thought I should be. But a nice couple pointed me in the right direction, and the mileage ended up perfect and it was a nice, if hot, day. And I got to see lots of doggies as I ran next to the Mighty Texas Dog Walk.
Then there was much laziness and watching of bad movies (Pet Cemetary II) and so-bad-its-good tv-shows (Knight Rider) and lots of smarties and laughing. And I downloaded and love “Ticket to Ride” for the iPad, so I played that while totally paying attention to the aforementioned shows.
Today, I slept in, then made these Buffalo Chicken Cupcakes and a no-bake lemon cheesecake for Easter, and we hung out before deciding it would be nice to head downtown to check out REI.
Now my night is winding down, and this post seems run-on and boring, but I’m hitting Publish anyways.
So much for the dailies
I’m easily distracted, and work has been busy and frustrating.
and I can’t update because mostly I feel like the same emo girl I’ve been since I was old enough to introspect, rehashing the same shit I’ve always been rehashing.
